I am studying astrology, this blesses me with a certain understanding of the seasons. At the moment our Sun is in the zodiac of Gemini. As I travel through the month I like to observe and see any patterns which arise, as I learn about the qualities of what Gemini might radiate through the Sun shining upon us. My perception develops through personal experience, and becomes my own understanding, through my eyes. Presently I have been meditating on the dual aspect of our existence. We have both the light and the dark, black and white, good and bad. As my wonderful astrology teacher likes to put it: it is as if we are playing in a video game. A game where some of us play the role of Mother Teresa, and another the role of Donald Trump. And we can all interplay many roles simultaneously across our lives. Which one is right, which one is wrong?
The problem with pitching evil against holiness is that we end up in a thought pattern that something is inherently wrong with the world and we need to fix it. Whilst I do feel that we have an important empowered role to play, it doesn’t seem supportive to me to believe that something has gone awry. Contrarily, I do radically feel that every action which has harmed me, challenged or knocked me down, has always worked for my greatest good. This would suggest to me: what if the apparent evil in our world, is a mirror to us, asking us to look within and see how we are motivated to act in response. Action not from a place of pain, helplessness or egoistic ambition, but because what we see and feel awakens our inner mission, in purity, service and joy. We realise that the catastrophe we observe resides within us too, and is not isolated, but collective. It doesn’t need to be an us against them campaign any longer, but a laid-down act of love for all. When we cease from judging we open up our gateway to trust. To not just trust ourselves, but to trust the Divine, the Life force at play through all living beings and circumstances. If harmony is the structure of the Universe we live within, then orchestrated patterns are the make-up of our lives too: as the petals spring forth on the radiant sunflower, so is our beautiful existence and interplay. One of our key fears is: am I ok, am I secure? Can I be me? We believe there is something we must do to survive, or to set something right, like an ever-rotating wheel. Nothing feels completely ‘right’. To suggest that it is not already in tune with glorious harmony, on some level, is to set one’s self at odds with the self. If something is wrong, then surely everything else is wrong too! It is much harder to accept that maybe I am okay, that perhaps I can accept myself and the circumstances right now. This is the tipping point, where we realise that the acceptance is spinning through time, and actually carries us out of the current difficulty. When we choose to let go and say ‘yes’, we begin to see that this wasn’t who or what we were in totality anyway, and we open the door to a much larger perspective. When we stop fighting against, we begin to receive our solution. And in this revelatory brilliance, we realise the perfect and ‘collateral beauty’ of each and every predicament. It is simply mind-blowing. We are not here alone, and we have much more support than we could imagine.
It is indeed controversial to suggest this. Often thoughts of sexual abuse, human trafficking and war come to mind. I contemplate this and wonder, ‘and Beloved…even these?’ This comes down to the question: do we choose our path, in the Divine embrace, before we enter our life on Earth? And if so, then that implies we chose to experience the tyranny of pain if at war, or at the hands of the abuser…is there a lesson to learn, a wound to heal which we are acting on, for the love of all creation? Perhaps, and what a deep dive. Paradoxically, the yielding to each scenario, prayers of ‘may it be unto me as is Your will Beloved’, provides our empowerment to understand why this is occurring and how we are motivated to respond. Whilst I was training on the mission field in Mozambique, as I learned from incredible communities from war-torn nations, I was profoundly moved by their heartfelt surrender to the Divine. It is in such places of desperation, that all one can do is to let go, to pray, pray, and pray… I see that the surrender crowns our sovereign identity which encompasses and extends beyond our human existence. We lay down in humble awe of the greater story at play, and in so doing give our truest self the permission to act on our behalf. We choose the narrow path, where we cross over between going left or right, here or there, and simply stop, poised for the Heavens to open as we extend our arms wide. And there it is, in each and every moment: the doorway between each tight situation. This is how I see points of contrast posing as ultimate pillars of access to something greater. The opposition is not a threat, but an invitation in disguise. The two become one. A miraculous child is born.
Likewise is true for our inner self. We do not need to fight between our light and dark selves…which are here within us for a holy union, opening up a lush valley for us to venture through. There is actually no shame. Nor is there a prize for all our good deeds. If we could understand this truly, I think our planet would radically transform in love. In another post I will write more about this inner landscape of dark and light. I feel it is so important. The disclosure and unveiling of shadowy secrets must take place first within us, before we can fully experience peace among us.
Enjoy the season of fluttering thoughts, of bouncing between opposing ideas! All the time knowing that we make our own space between the two, and can plant ourselves firmly in the ground, wherever we are. There doesn’t need to be a right or a wrong way, but a your way – in fearless abandon. We are surrounded by innumerable members of our divine family, cheering us on forever, in wide-eyed awe of our incredible existence.
In love and gratitude ❤