Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog postings 🙂 It has been both really fun and challenging writing on here. I have felt lead to express myself, and sometimes that is a joy, and other times I am afraid! Ultimately I have experienced the fruit of life in myself, as I allow myself to type, and to freely share what seems right for the time.
I have really wanted to write about a very important topic for me, in my life; marriage! Especially as I have been on that journey for a little while now. I will write briefly here, in a moment…
Beforehand, I also wanted to update any of you who were interested in my dream to try to write about soul, body and spirit. I was considering how to do that, whether to write up posts every so often, create another site over time… I have felt inspiration bubbling up, and the more I journey, the more I see how this is all an outflow of my life internally, blossoming externally into the form of ideas, writing, action. So it is a continuing tree of life, growing in me, it seems! I love the tree of life. As I learn about well-being, union with God, myself, creation, all just in the simple steps of my day to day life, I can see how there is so much more awaiting to be found in the quietness of reflection, and the energy of enthusiasm. Recently, it sprang to mind that the most exciting option may be to compile some notes and plans for a rough book. And so, like a little girl, I have really enjoyed diving into imaginative thought and style. This is probably going to take a while, or who knows. It is something like a hobby, which I think will weave in and out of life, like a hay-bale happily rolling down a sun drenched hill, gathering bits of hay along the way. I will update further as I move through this, and maybe make some fun snippets of ideas to post online.
And so…marriage! I have typed a lot already and so this may be more short and sweet than I intended! Any of you who are close friends/family of mine will know my journey in this, but there are some I would love to share with, and it feels good to express this a little. A few years ago I met Jonny, and we were are at a fun spirit conference in Cardiff, learning about weird and wonderful adventures in God. A few years later I moved to be closer to a bunch of people I developed community with, one of which being Jonny! After liking each other from a distance for a while, we started dating. Woohoo! And a few months down the line we decided to get married, and so we did.
Yes that’s right, we married! My perception of marriage has really been blown right out, and then reconstructed into the form God has desired for me. This has been a roller-coaster ride at times! So what do I mean by marriage? We embraced an ancient way of relationship, and one which is quite controversial given our Christian understandings. But, when God makes the way, it’s incredibly simple and perfect. For us this looked like letting go of the beliefs that we needed to follow the traditional way of dating for a few months, getting engaged, getting married months/year later. It didn’t make sense to us. Life was speaking so clearly to us; that we needed to trust and delve into marital union together earlier on.
Why exactly? Well only God completely knows, but this has lead us on an incredibly profound journey of ups/downs, wide expanses, bringing us so close and united in our life purposes. For me, I was never entirely persuaded in my heart by the idea of a long relationship pre-marriage. My dream was to meet someone and be set on a wild ride of unconventional ways, led by God, into a new way of doing things, something which echoed a deeper part of me. I was open to however was best for me, and it turns out that is what happened, by no force of either of us. We met each other on many different levels, both in dreams, in day-to-day life, and in aspirations…culminating in our shared passion for being true to ourselves, and immersing ourselves in the way God would lead us.
This surrender opened up the doorway for us to engage in a different type of marriage for us. We learnt about sex and marital union, about the roles of husband and wife, and had been vastly interested in ancient Jewish practices of tent marriage. Comically, on our first date, we even talked about how we would hypothetically envisage marriage! A few months down the line God opened the way for us to learn about these mystical things, and over time we embraced one another in union. It was like Heaven was orchestrating our marriage, tucked up away in a secret, hidden place, where it was just us, God, angels…
In our societal understanding marriage is framed around signing a legal contract, for some it is making vows in church or community, or simply gathering together. For us, God rewired our perception to see the marriage He wanted to give us as centred around our hearts’ entwining and the physical consummation itself. In my eyes this continues throughout life, an ever continuous marrying to one another which cannot be bound by one place or time, but extends boundlessly. It has been the most amazing journey, incredibly earthy and rich. But was indeed trying as we let go of old ways of thinking, and faced the opinions of others. We wholly desired to have a celebration with our friends there too, and legalities as well. If you know what it’s like to be yielded to God’s Spirit though, you’ll know how it is to feel ‘this just isn’t the right time yet’, or to feel; I’m just doing this for social acceptance. And so, we have learnt that we really want to have a marriage celebration of us! And so we will plan this over time. Legally, it has been interesting. There was something freeing for us about not declaring our marriage legally; it enabled us to feel able to make our own choices without needing to comply to societal norms. In God’s wisdom, in the love of Jesus, He desired for us to experience a different type of expression than the norm today. Perhaps, it is like the image of a nut: hidden within the clasps of the kernel it grows, and then it pops out all fruity at the right time! That is like us. Our marriage is manifesting externally more and more over time. It feels like the time is coming to have a party, and to share our signing of marriage contracts etc with our dear family and friends…we are super excited!
I’m sure I’ll write again about these topics I mentioned above sometime. I hope this has been insightful into the weird and wonderful life of a Jonny and Emeline! Some of what I mentioned goes quite against the grain to many ways of marriage we have accepted and followed. And all the ways I truly believe can be awesome! This one was right for us. If you do feel concerned by how I have pursued this area of my life, I encourage you to look within yourself first, present your concerns to God. We don’t need to label something as wrong just because it hasn’t been our way of life. We are learning to live in new, changeable times, and I believe part of this involves both staying true to who you are, whilst embracing/allowing the expression of others. God’s Love will direct you in how to deal with others’ opinions and ways (and sometimes these are sadly averse to love), in the way which is life giving to you. Only Love is the way, and this might look different for each one of us. But we can be assured that Love will prevail, and will hold us intimately, forever and ever. Amen 🙂